shhh.

While running on a treadmill, listening to what was surely a raunchy pop song, staring at news images of people protesting for their rights, I decided things have been a little too absurd lately.

Words only seem to confuse and pressure me when things seem absurd. And so I'm closing up shop around here.

For now. A long now.

garnering dirty looks everywhere

I get dirty looks, cyber or actual, often when I brush off the latest media scare as just a fenzy to be ignored for all intents and purposes. When pastors and the like flew into a frenzy over sexting a few months ago, I nodded my head and said, "Yeah, and?"

I see things quite simply: we live in a broken world. It is no more broken in 2009 than it was in 1624 or that it will be in 2391. Our relationships to each other are broken. Our image of God is muddled. We have poor understandings of needs and wants, love and sex, celebrating and flaunting. Because of our broken condition, we must expect that sin will find inventive ways to seep into our lives, the lives of teenagers, and of course the lives of men who live in their mother's basement.

It isn't that I don't care about the sin. Rather, I believe that we often hammer too heavily on the expression of the sin and avoid quite deftly the root cause of the behavior. Our reactionary behavior does little to create wholeness in the lives of the broken, only mounts to the list of things that we are against.

Perhaps my flippancy isn't the answer. But neither is reactionary hysteria.

some advice to those who like a good internet fight

The number one way to stop a thoughtful conversation is the insult your conversation partner, their choice in reading material, their friends, or their thoughts. Insults are a show-stopper. It only gets ugly after insults.

So step away from the temptation to tell that person that he is an ignoramus and politely ask about their sources.

Key word: politely.

Other useful words or phrases that will make you sound like you have a degree in counseling, are severely passive aggressive, or were schooled by Emily Post on the playground in first grade:

perhaps, have you considered, I wonder if, does this make sense, conversely.

And if you are worried about looking like a pansy for being polite, consider the alternative: a donkey's hiney. The last time I stared at a donkey's hiney, I gagged. The last time I stared at a pansy, nice thoughts rushed through my veins. You decide.

would you?

spiritual development in review

My review of New Directions for Youth Development's edition on Spiritual Development is up:

Many youth workers have at least a minimal understanding of faith development theory and they exercise that knowledge in the way they create faith opportunities for the youth in their ministry. However, there are a large number of youth who are never reached by the ministries of our churches. Are they developing spiritually, too? Is spiritual development something that occurs only in relationship to Christ? Or is it, like physical or emotional development, something that occurs for each person?

freedom to be faithful

Three or so years ago, two good friends and I went out to dinner. Our conversation wandered through the typical young adult fare of adjusting to our jobs, the lack of suitable suitors, and the evils of twinkies, walmart and itunes. We'd been living in St. Louis for about a year and had wandered individually through several church and neighborhood bible studies with no real connection. Collectively, we mourned the lack of bible studies that met our relational and spiritual needs.

Then, as if hit over the head with a cartoon sledge hammer, we realized we should just start our own. We were each involved in different churches and had different doctrinal heritages, but were already bound together in friendship and our love of Christ. Through our discussion that evening, we devised a plan to invite several other girlfriends to be a part of a group that gathered weekly to study the word. Leaders would be on a voluntary basis and would rotate. We'd decide as needed what to study next.

And that's what happened. We've been gathering on Thursday nights for these three years. We've studied the Gospels, the Prophets, the Epistles. We've read CS Lewis, Lauren Winner, Shane Claiborne. We've celebrated marriages, births, new jobs, and more. We've changed locations as we've moved to new homes. Members have moved on as life pulls and tugs us in different directions. New members have come in as life draws new paths.

I don't hear much of spontaneous bible study groups like ours, but they must exist. Our male friends, spouses, and sig oths have the male version of our group which is rumored to be full of dirty jokes and heated debate. Yet, I have to wonder what role groups like ours have in the Church. We don't show up easily in studies. We don't show up on a church discipleship head count. We are intentionally outside of the established system and yet are a fundamental part of faith development and work of the Spirit in our lives. This paradox is intriguing to me and probably fuels a very small part of my interest in the group.

gratitude

I received a thank you note today from a youth in our ministries. She's the kind and thoughtful sort that writes thank you notes after retreats and special events, even if I begged her to be okay with her mom coming along because I was desperate for another leader. Beg seems like a strong word, but it is really a balance of my inner thoughts and reality. In my mind, I was on my knees, bawling my little itchy eyes out, groveling. On the outside, I was calm and rational and listened to her concerns about having her mom there. In the end, they both had a great time and mom is coming again.

This time, however, the thank you note was not preceded by anything in particular, except perhaps the sentimentality of the year coming to a close. She is an eighth grader, graduating on Sunday. Soon she will be promoted into the big and scary senior high ministry where they travel out of state and separate by gender for bible study.

Her gratitude is so untimely, unsolicited, and wonderful. I am tremendously grateful for her. Her frolicking maturity has surprised me, delighted me, challenged me. She has gently grown up and brought her classmates and friends with her. She's shared with me and I've learned from her.

As I reflect on her thank you, it almost seems scandalous that she would write me such a note. I've done nothing more than what is expected of me. Rather it is I who should be writing. It is she that has risen above expectations and shared her faith so tremendously. Her gratitude is a reminder to me of the blessing that she is.