When I struggle through anything emotional, I flail like a fish out of water. I splash people around me, they back up to avoid getting wet, and I end up flailing by myself. Alone. I've been suffering through a craving for deeper, more meaningful relationships with my friends around me. Playing and laughing doesn't cut it for me anymore. I'm afraid of being left behind. Left alone.
Cameron Conant put it well: Things change, especially when you're single. It's as if the social networks upon which you stand are constantly shifting, like plates under a giant fault line.
I don't know if there is a solution. I don't know what I want.
I'm just glad I have a rock underneath the fault lines.