I have been hard on myself in a very ungodly way of late. I don't mean ungodly in the flippant exaggerated sense, but in the truest anti-first commandment breaking sense.
This is most apparent at work, though it seems to be true across the board.
Two weeks ago, I directed the launch of a new Sunday School program at my church. The experience has been change theory made manifest: there are skeptics, there are enthusiasts, there are inbetweeners. Meanwhile, I am somewhere on the outside banging my head on the wall thinking about all of the things I should have done better, all of the volunteers that I might be letting down, all of things that I have potentially failed at.
The funny thing is, each week these kids are getting together, smiling, praising God together. They are still learning the program. The adults are still learning the program. I AM STILL LEARNING THE PROGRAM. Did I mention we've only had 2 hours of this new program? 2 hours. That's 1/12th of a day if you need some perspective (I do).
We have to learn the logistics so that we can focus on the content. (There are a lot of logistics when there are 75 elementary students involved). We are building the framework for Christ to be shared actively and vividly. It won't happen magically. I've got to be patient.
I think the proper expression is: duh.
Jesus is being shared.
My stress levels.
My increasing amount of gray hair.
My sleepless nights.
Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.
I don't matter. Focusing on my stress and my perceived failures is ignoring the joy of sharing Christ.
My job this week is to focus on the joy of Christ and sharing it.
Focus on the joy of Christ and sharing it.
The joy of Christ and sharing it....