5.25.2010

where life is leading

Last week, I met my new life. For a first date, it was pretty stellar. New life and I had emailed and even briefly talked on the phone, and I felt fairly confident about our future successes. Yet nothing matches the intensity of getting on an airplane and staring at a a baggage carousel knowing that new life is standing outside of the door, waiting to meet you, loudly and inescapably.

We only spent a few short days together. We wandered around together a lot, in and out of buildings, eating meals, listening to each other, sharing truths about any life, and getting excited about the impending time when "new life" is just plain life. I stared off into space more than normal and wondered if new life will like me as much as I am liking it.

I was overwhelmed by the clear blessing new life has set out for me. New life has roommates full of zest and passion. New life has libraries galore. New life has short distances between home and school and work and play. New life is exciting, different, and humid (then again, so is current life. Sigh.).

New life has some serious challenges and does not set out to be a cake walk. I'm not entirely convinced that I deserve new life, but I've never been convinced that I deserve current life either. (Deserving is tricky word from the roots. I suppose I should I avoid it.) I bought a t-shirt declaring my entrance into new life, but when I put it on, it scared me. I never actually imagined new life actually happening. I imagined multiple others, but not this one. This one was a pipe dream, but now it isn't. It's real, happening in a few short weeks.

Deep breaths and prayer are my friends.

No comments: