10.18.2010

spider bite dreams

Over the weekend, I had an extremely vivid dream in which I woke up to discover that a small spider bite on my leg (that I had in real life, not only in subconscious dreams) had festered and grown severely problematic. The dream was so vivid that when I actually woke up, I had to check my leg about twenty times to ensure that the bite hadn't actually grown stiff red and blue veins and that I wasn't in need of an emergency room visit. It was so vivid that when the image of the festered bite comes into my mind's eye, and it does so often, it makes me shudder and squirm.

I've had my fair share of survival dreams and epic dreams featuring strange people of the past, but few of these dreams have haunted me as this spider bite has haunted me. I can't get it out of my head. It is always there, at the tip of my thoughts, waiting to excised from my leg. I even googled (and stared at) disgusting images of real spider bites to convince myself that it was just a dream, that my dream bite was nothing like an actual infected and festered bite. No matter what I've done, I can't get it out of my mind.

I can't help but wonder at what it means. I can't help but wonder if there is something festering in my life. Something that is primed for excision. Something that began inconsequentially and without my awareness and has quickly become dangerous and threatening to my very being.

I have to admit, I'm a little scared.

Also, grossed out. Spider bite images are nasty.

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